Several weeks ago I heard about Tonx, a small coffee-subscription company. For $38 a month you get a 12 ounce bag of fresh, hand-roasted beans sourced from some of the world’s best coffee co-ops twice a month. I heard about them, and maybe you did too, because they were running a special promotion: if you subscribed they would send you a half-sized bag of beans for free with no obligation to continue the subscription. I thought I’d just get some free coffee out of the deal, but I was mistaken.
I made a fresh cup right after it arrived and there is no other way to describe it than heavenly. I knew immediately after drinking that first cup that I couldn’t go back to the cheap–well, not so cheap really–stale coffee that my wife and I have been drinking for the past couple of years. The only problem would be convincing my wife that $38 a month for coffee that tastes this good would be a steal in a half. You see, my wife is in no way a coffee snob, in fact, she readily admits that she would be happy with freeze-dried instant coffee. For her, the caffeine is the important thing, the coffee is just the delivery system, and if she had an alternative method of getting her fix that was easier than making a fresh pot o’joe when she is groggy and bleary eyed first thing in the morning I am sure she would take it.
I realized I would need a well calculated and implemented plan to sway her to my way of thinking. While she doesn’t mind bad coffee as long as it’s not decaf, she does have tastebuds, so I decided that the best way to turn her to my side was by making her The Best Damn Cup of Coffee™. Surely then she would agree to the need for this wondrous coffee from Tonx. Accordingly I planned to make a nice, fresh pot of coffee on Saturday morning before she woke up so there’d be a steaming, hot cup ready for her when she first came downstairs.
I got up far too early Saturday morning as our two boys turned the downstairs into their private war zone. I pulled on a sweater and stumbled into the bathroom and then downstairs. The boys immediately told me they were hungry and started ordering breakfasts of varying degrees of difficulty. I grunted a response and stumbled into the kitchen to start making their breakfast, but not before taking some cold medicine, for I seemed to have caught a cold from boy number one, and I could hardly breathe. By the time I finished making breakfast for the boys I didn’t even feel like taking the time to grind the beans and make The Best Damn Cup of Coffee™. So I grabbed the bag of the el-cheapo coffee, measured out four and a half tablespoons, put it in the coffee maker, filled it with two cups of filtered water, and hit the brew button. I know, I know, but really, I felt like hell and just needed that caffeine. Shortly after it finished brewing I had a cup and then went upstairs to grab my phone. When I came back downstairs my wife was sitting at the dining table with a fresh, steaming, hot cup of coffee and her iPad. She turned to me smiling, holding up the cup and said,”Is this that coffee you got? It is really, really good!” I sank into my chair in defeat, took a long drink of the el-cheapo coffee, and reluctantly admitted that it was just our regular stuff. “Oh” she said and then went back to checking her email. I drank another long slug of coffee and reflected that sometimes, it turns out, the caffeine is enough.
Luckily, a few days later I did manage to make a pot of the good stuff for her. I don’t think she really found it as amazing as I did, but being a good wife she agreed to continuing the subscription, on one condition, that I get up every morning and make the coffee before she leaves for work. I’d say that’s a fair trade.